It can be very hard for an older parent or loved one to accept change, and as equally challenging for family and carers trying to support their ageing loved one in a way that maintains a high quality of life.
The resistance for change can arise for a number of reasons, including:
- Not believing in-home support will make life easier
- Fear to ask for and admit to family and loved ones they are no longer the independent person they once were
- Being unsure about potential costs for in-home care and whether they may put their financial security at risk
- Wanting to avoid change and keen to keep life as it always has been for emotional and sentimental reasons.
Even though admitting it’s time for in-home support may feel emotional and a sign that life is permanently changing through the ageing process, watching loved ones not meet life’s day-to-day activities with ease can be deeply upsetting when we know help is available.
How can we help a parent or loved one turn positively towards in-home care when they are resisting it?
Close relatives and friends can be a source of influence and guidance, but this is not always the way when a person’s independence feels challenged. Our suggestions for in-home help and care may be met with negativity, resistance and perhaps even anger on some occasions. These are difficult conversations to have. However, with consideration and an empathetic approach, they can lead to positive change.
When could a loved one ageing in place be ready for in-home care?
Observations indicating a parent or loved one may need at-home care include:
- They are relying too heavily on family and friends, requiring constant support for everyday tasks.
- They push people away who offer to help, suggesting they may benefit from third-party support.
- The house is no longer being maintained to their familiar standards, including dishes not being washed, rooms not cleaned, garden not maintained and clothes washing unattended.
- They regularly miss appointments or do not attend organised social engagements and activities outside the home they used to love.
- Coordinating and actioning tasks seems to take longer, or dates are missed (e.g. paying bills or ensuring shopping is done before items run out).
Why is it important to initiate in-home help?
In-home care and support can significantly change the quality of life for a loved one who is no longer coping with full independence. A friendly carer making regular visits to the home can make a difference by:
- Delaying the need to leave home for permanent residential care.
- Helping individuals maintain their quality of life.
- Supporting independent living, not diminishing it, through building confidence and maintaining social engagement.
Steps to take when it’s time for in-home care
Once you’ve identified in-home care is the best next option for loved ones, introducing the concept does not have to be negative or divisive. Rather, this can be an opportunity to have a caring, supportive conversation that can celebrate the option to remain living at home and continue to derive enjoyment from this independence.
- Get recommendations from others your loved one respects, including GPs or other medical specialists they have a trusting relationship with.
- Discuss with family and friends already engaging services for their loved ones.
- Reach out to your local in-home care provider for assistance with coordinating the relevant aged care assessment and identifying what financial support may be available.
- Plan to start small – organise a day’s trial of weekly care and make sure to talk before and after with open questions so your loved one can identify the difference it’s making, including the social side, in having a new friendly face in the home.
It has never been a better time than today to explore options of remaining in the home as the Australian government continues to support people ageing in place. Pearl Home Care has representatives Australia-wide ready to connect and assist in this very important transition. They can assist you when determining how to discuss the potential for assistance with loved ones, provide information on funding options and work with you to select the best composition of care services.
